From return to retention: Rethinking work after maternity leave (1of2)

Back, but different: Returning to work after maternity leave

The word ‘return’ suggests stepping back into something familiar. In reality, returning to work after maternity leave has felt more like moving forward into something new.

Returning has meant rediscovering what gives me purpose beyond being a mum. The challenge is approaching those things from a different perspective, with new strengths and new limitations.

As a workplace designer and consultant, I’ve spent more than 10 years helping organisations create environments where people can do their best work. Returning from maternity leave has sharpened my understanding of what workplace support means in practice, and of the gap between places, policies and lived experience.

The well-understood practical realities

Conversations about returning to work after maternity leave often focus on practicalities.

“Have you got a nursery yet?” (when the baby is the size of a blueberry)

“Will you be breastfeeding when you go back to work?”

“Keep in mind that your house will be bug central when they start nursery.”

These challenges are real, and many continue long after the return. For many mothers, practical barriers are compounded by structural ones: unaffordable childcare, limited flexibility and workplaces that don’t accommodate their needs.

These were the challenges I expected. The ducks I had in a somewhat wobbly row.

The less-understood identity shift

What I wasn’t prepared for was the shift in identity that came with becoming a mother.

I’d heard the word ‘matrescence’ from someone who came before me, but I didn’t know what it meant. (The wiggly line beneath it as I write suggests I’m not alone.) Like adolescence, matrescence describes the physical, emotional, psychological and social transition into motherhood. Becoming a mother isn’t simply about caring for another person; it also reshapes identity, priorities, relationships and sense of self.

Before having a child, work was a significant part of my identity. It still is. What has changed is the context in which I experience it. Time feels more finite, energy more precious, and the trade-offs around how and where I spend my time more visible.

As workplace professionals, we often talk about creating meaningful employee experiences. Returning to work has made me more aware of what that really means. When time carries a higher cost, the value of workplace experiences matters more. A day spent collaborating, learning and connecting feels worthwhile; a day spent travelling to work alone can feel very different.

I’ve also become more aware of the constant shift between identities, parent to professional and back again, often within minutes.

The practical realities matter, but the identity shift has been the less visible, and less discussed, part of my experience.

The issue isn’t simply getting women back to work. It’s creating environments where staying in work feels sustainable.

In my second blog, I explore the practical changes workplaces can make to better support returning mothers.